17. Or ask a question.
You don’t need to narrate the entire time. In fact, like a regular conversation, is best when it comes to phone sex. If you’re feeling stuck on what to say, feel free to throw it back to your partner: “Where are your hands right now? What does your underwear look like?”
Howard notes that its important to answer those questions in a full sentence. “If your partner asks you a question, don’t just say, ‘Yeah,’ ‘No,’ ‘Okay.'” Make sure you engage your partner with detailed answers to keep the momentum going.
18. Speak up to switch gears.
Like regular sex, something might kill the phone sex mood, and if that happens, it’s okay to #voiceyourtruth. Take the reins if it’s going somewhere you’re not into, or say you’d like to take it slowwww if that’s the case.
“The phone is a great way to be silly or act out and talk about things that you might not feel as comfortable doing in person-or at least, not at first,” says Cathcart.
For this reason, phone sex serves as an incredible gateway to role play, because you’re able to go through the motions without going to the nines (a.k.a. dressing up).
So for a little extra fun (because, again, novelty), feel free to get creative with your voice, such as opting for a higher pitch tone for a “school girl” or a lower one for a “dominatrix.”
If you’d rather just keep phone sex real (which is perfectly A-okay), Cathcart recommends ditching the dramatics. “Theres a natural seductiveness about a womans voice, especially when youre in an intimate relationship with that person,” she explains.
20. Reminisce about the past.
If youre not sure what to say or where to begin, bring up a sexy memory that you and your partner shared together. By calling on a throwback, you have an easy script: Youre able to talk through the motions of what you each did to each other.
21. Embrace the digital age (or not).
Using your imagination is part of what makes phone sex so hot, but don’t forget that you’ve got more video tools at your disposal than ever. Why not start with a little phone action, then switch to video chat sex when things get heated? Your game, your rules. On that note, feel free to tell your partner that this is a visual-free zone if that’s what you’re comfortable with.
22. Wait until you *both* finish (if that’s your goal).
Your end Abenteuer-Dating goal here doesnt have to be a fast orgasm, BTW. In fact, at least according to Engle, phone sex doesn’t need to be about orgasm at all. “It’s about experiencing pleasure,” she says.
But if you want to, keep going until you orgasm! Whoever climaxes first should ideally stay on the line until the other reaches the finish line, too. Or at the very least, the convo should end at a stopping point that works for both of you. Abrupt endings are kinda the worst, am I wrong?
23. Close your eyes.
It can be easier to walk through an experience if the only things youre focusing on are your partners voice and your own bodys sensations, such as the tingling from your vibrator. “Its like homemade auditory porn,” Engle says. So get some shut eye (but not literally, hah) and let yourself experience all the sensual pleasure that your partner’s voice can offer.
How do you end a phone sex conversation?
If orgasm is your goal, then you should definitely continue the conversation until you get there. But if you aren’t going to orgasm, incorporate the ending into your call, says Howard. Say something like, “That was really good for me. How was it for you?” to let your partner know when it’s over on your end. Howard also recommends actually signing off: “Make sure you end the call before transitioning to normal conversations, then restart the call so that it’s a different scene.”